Peer Pressure and Simple Living

Sometimes I think that trying to live simply in a society where consumerism is valued is not an easy task. It is like trying to swim upstream.

We are supposed to have the latest smartphone, a car, a big house to show everyone that we are successful, or because we 'deserve' these things because we work so hard. We are expected to go out every weekend to have fun and relax because we work long hours during the week. I like this quote by Ellen Goodman.

"Normal is getting dressed in clothes that you buy for work, driving through traffic in a car that you are still paying for, in order to get to a job that you need so you can pay for the clothes, car and the house that you leave empty all day in order to afford to live in it."
 
I didn't want this 'normal' life. I didn't want my life to control me, I wanted to have control in my life. I wanted a career that would bring me satisfaction, but I didn't want it to be my entire life. For me, the only way to achieve this was to lead a simple life where there are less wants, more content and a slower pace.

The freedom that comes with a debt free life is really important to me. Living simply has allowed me to choose the career I love. It allows me to help my family, save for my future, and travel to interesting places.

When I was a student, and while on a temporary job I didn't have a car. I had a landline phone, and a prepaid mobile phone for emergencies. During this time I knew that some thought I was too stingy. "Why don't you buy an iPhone? It's cheaper if you get a 2 year contract." some said. I heard similar comments about buying a car too. Not having a car was not easy. I used the school shuttle and the city bus, so I had to depend on the not so convenient bus schedule.  I lived close to the university and a grocery store. Because I only had my backpack to carry things, I was mindful of that when I was at a store, which helped me to buy only the necessary things. I didn't want to buy a car at that time because I didn't want the added responsibility and expenses and also I didn't want one until I have a reliable job. Because I lived a frugal life, and didn't have a car payment or any other consumer debt I was able to afford an apartment by myself. When I started my current job, I had saved enough to buy a car without a loan.

Though I have close friends - some friendships are 20+ years old - I consider myself an introvert. I like spending time at home, especially on weekends. I do not go out frequently. I like inviting friends for a meal, and go to restaurants only occasionally. Having a circle of close friends is important to me, but I do not want to sacrifice every weekend to maintain a social life. Because I like staying home, and mainly because some assumed that I didn't have much to do as a single person, I was expected to baby sit quite often. Needless to say those friendships didn't last long.

My apartments were furnished with used furniture and other thrift store finds.

When I decided to buy a house, I didn't want to be a slave for a huge mortgage. A smaller mortgage means a smaller and older house. Again I felt the pressure to buy a nicer house in a 'good' neighborhood. Some couldn't understand why I wanted to buy a house that needed sprucing up.

Cooking from scratch, making bread and jam, making laundry detergent, deodorant at home take time. I have been asked why not buy these from the store and save time, because it doesn't really sound like simple living if you spend all that time making things.

Not only my simple living, but being single has been an issue with some, especially with well meaning relatives. When they say that I would need someone to take care of me (a husband? children?) when I'm old and  therefore I must get married, I jokingly say that anyone can pitch in for my retirement fund.

At the beginning I tried explaining my way of living, and to be honest I felt annoyed when my choices were questioned.  After a while I realized that there was no need to justify the way I live. I learned to say no when it is needed. Now I value my time more and worry less about what others think of me. Still, at times I wonder - why do people rush to judge when someone chooses a different path?